Amazing Joy
Amazing Joy
Authors
- Melissa Kelly
How to buy the book
Introduction
It took a tragedy for Melissa to truly embrace joy. While living a life of ‘fine, ‘ she experienced an earth-shattering loss. The ensuing steep spiral into despair eventually forced her to look up. Amazingly, she discovered more than she thought possible while navigating the devastation. Using humor and raw honesty, the author shares how she went from not settling for ‘fine’ to finding joy and meaning in each day. Through counseling, introspection, and deepening faith, Melissa documents her journey through grief and arriving at a place of gratitude and beyond. From adventures in white water rafting to dog-sledding, the author sprinkles in light-hearted travel anecdotes while tackling serious topics such as career identity and unintentional singleness. Filled with relevant and helpful tips, Melissa offers guidance that applies to every journey and anyone seeking amazing joy. relevant and helpful tips, Melissa offers guidance that applies to every journey and anyone seeking amazing joy.
Chapters
Introduction
Merriam-Webster defines joy as “a state of happiness” and “the emotion evoked by well-being, success or good fortune, or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.”
Choosing to respond with joy makes life much more gratifying.
What happens when our childlike joy begins to fade? Will we let the demands of adulthood steal our happiness? Or will we wake up every day and fight to choose joy?
Choosing joy is not easy. It takes work.
The effort it takes to choose joy every day is worth it to me because I’m a much better version of myself when I’m choosing joy.
Chapter 1
Time is something I always thought we had plenty of.
Chapter 2
Always listen to the safety briefing.
These are the kind of memories we made on vacations.
Our family vacations and adventures created a desire in me to see more.
Seeing new places brings me joy because it reminds me there is so much to experience in life.
Chapter 3
When I look back on my younger days, I realize how grateful I am for my parents’ support and their decision to let me be a kid as long as possible.
When I look back on things my parents sacrificed for me, I realize I never thanked them enough for the way they supported me.
I began learning a key element that still sticks with me today. Customer Service. I was forced to make eye contact. And I had to learn to speak to people as soon as eye contact was made.
Stressful times call for fun.
Those were stressful times, and like a lot of other corporate jobs, we saw our co-workers more than we did our families. Was it tough to adhere to the deadlines? Absolutely! Was it worth it? I can say it defined my character and work ethic, and those are things I’m thankful for.
Chapter 4
I have to remind myself that I could be married to someone who is abusive, someone who is a cheater, someone who was not in it for the right reasons, or someone who is a narcissist and always making me wonder about our relationship because things would always be on his terms.
Singleness when choosing joy is continuing to live life while still desiring more.
I choose to live a life full of joy even though it hurts not to have something I’ve always wanted.
It just means I’ve learned to find things in my life to be happy about and not focus on the negative stuff.
Regardless of who we are and what our situation is, we can find pros and cons in everything we do. The things I see as pros are the things you see as cons. And sometimes, the things you see as pros are the things I see as cons.
Recognizing the pros has allowed me to choose joy throughout my journey. We have to live our own journey and find ways to appreciate the path we’ve been placed on.
But just because our life doesn’t turn out like we think we wanted it to doesn’t mean we can’t have a great life anyway.
Despite the disappointments, I still recognize that it’s a life worth living for. A life that I can hopefully use to inspire others.
Chapter 5
I’ve learned to overcome the disappointments and find joy along the way. I’ve learned that life can still be good without the things I planned at eighteen.
It’s okay to want them, but I no longer dwell on them and halt my life while waiting for any of them to happen.
Chapter 6
Within seconds he was a memory that only the 3 of us had experienced together. Those are the “you had to be there” moments. And it’s the moments I love.
I have learned to love and find joy in it. It’s another reminder to myself that even though things aren’t what I had mapped out for my life, there is still so much to be thankful for and look forward to.
Chapter 7
I wish so badly that I had asked her. Asked her what if felt like. Asked her if it hurt. Asked her if she was sad. Asked her if she was scared.
Anything but the silence I gave when we were alone or the jokes I would tell to try to make her feel better. It was hard to witness the pain she was in, and I know a lot of that pain was heartache because I wouldn’t talk to her.
So instead, I just kept all of my thoughts bottled up inside. And it’s a regret that I continue to have.
Chapter 8
Grief is different for everyone. And I have witnessed how true it is that each person handles grief differently. I went through each stage of grief, and I can also confirm there is no set amount of time for going through each stage.
The first moments of grief are like being in a drunk tank. You’re casually sitting on the bench above the water, knowing that someone will eventually hit he bullseye. You can see it coming, and you think you’re ready. but then suddenly, you’re under four feet of water.
Regardless of what age you are, go visit your parents. Do whatever it takes to stay in touch with them.
I had always joked about the saying “life is short”, but after losinga loved one, that saying becomes so much more real.
Chapter 9
I’m thankful for the friend who never gave up on me. She could have walked away many times, especially when I took my emotions out on her, but she stuck with me. She saw me in the dark place where I was questioning my beliefs and became the encouragement I needed to turn things around.
I’m forever grateful to my counselor for being patient with me and encouraging me the entire time. She is supportive, pushes me outside my comfort zone, and is my sounding board when I need someone to run things by.
The key was to look at all the positive things which happened in my day instead of focusing on the negative things.
It’s been said that the things you focus on will be the things that control you. And I can attest to that!
I understand it’s hard to see the positive in things when you are hurting or when your world is turned upside down. I’m definitely not here to tell you it’s easy. But I am here to tell you it’s worth it.
Think about what happened in your day today. Now, pick one negative thing that happened. I’m sure there are many to choose from but just pick one. Go ahead; I’ll wait. And now, while considering that negative thing, think about one good thing that happened because of it.
Counseling is a huge part of my journey because, without it, I would still be stuck in the same cycle of waking up each day and going through the motions to survive the day.
If I only could go back and start my counseling journey as a teenager so that I knew how to handle “life” though the years.
Chapter 10
I had learned that choosing joy sometimes meant eliminating toxic people from your life.
I didn’t have to engage in something that was stealing my joy.
There are still bad days, and there will still be challenges when bad things happen. But now I’m better equipped to make it through these times.
Instead of being fearful, I trust God’s plan for whatever is going on. That doesn’t give me the right to be careless, but it gives me peace instead of cosntantly worrying.
Chapter 11
She was young and never made it to retirement age. It was a strong reminder that we never know when our days on earth will end.
So, I told myself that I wouldn’t wait until I was 65 to see the world. I told myself I wouldn’t sit by and watch the years slip away, even though that’s exactly what I was doing.
It wasn’t until I left my job that I realized how unhappy I had been with it and life in general.
I would wake up with ideas of how to appreciate every second of the day before it was gone.
This means I started letting the real me slip away at some point due to the environment that wasn’t healthy. I now enjoyed every little thing about life and found joy in so many things.
Part of that is because I now had time for the things I enjoyed, which helped bring out the best in me.
Take time to evaluate the things in your life that need to change. And then be courageous enough to make the change.
I didn’t want to look back on my life and say, “I wish I had done __”, and I don’t want you to say that either!
Chapter 12
When I sat in a cubicle every day, I felt like I was watching opportunities pass me by. Like most people, I was living for the weekend and dreading Monday mornings. But instead of continuing to complain about it and stay stuck in that same position for the next 20+ years, I decided to do something about it.
I wanted more out of life, and I went for it. I knew it would require more time if I were going to LIVE life instead of just existing.
And since I can’t add hours to the day, I realized I had to subtract something from my day.
By subtracting the thing sucking the life out of me, I re-energized my life and intentionally chose what my days would look like.
Chapter 13
The problem was when it took so long to figure out something that I was both skilled at and passionate about. I had been settling for things I was skilled at, but I needed more because passion is what gets me out of bed in the morning.
Choosing joy is much easier than I thought it would be. I just needed a little help and guidance to get there. I needed to be reminded of the amazing things I already had in my life and that I could be happy exactly where I was.
The mindset of choosing joy doesn’t mean I don’t still have bad days.
My encouragement to you is to find your coaches. Whether that’s a counselor or someone else, we all need someone to guide us through the unknown.
The disappointments are always going to be there. And for me, the first step was to recognize what the disappointments were.
I may not know what it’s like to fulfill the plans I made at the age of 18, but I do know what it’s like to wake up each day with joy in my heart and look back on a life well lived and that I lived with intention.